I Rant, Therefore I Am

Ducky Mayhem...the Aftermath
For anonymous_plume in thanks for Ducky Mayhem.

“Hermione” Severus bellowed. He was livid. He couldn't believe they had done it again.

“What is it Severus?” Hermione asked as she walked down the hall to his office.

“This” he said as he gestured toward the destruction encompassing the room. “Look at what your damn ducks did to my office.”

Hermione raised a brow at his statement, “My ducks? So, when they are helping you run off missionaries they are your ducks. But when they show the slightest hint of willful behavior they're mine? Perhaps if you didn't allow Jones and James free reign over the house this wouldn't have happened.”

“So this is my fault? I go out of my way to adapt things when you brought James home from the rescue society. I put in a duck-door so they could access the gardens, I charmed the automatic feeder to dispense twice the amount to accommodate the new duck and this is how I am repaid? They destroyed an entire ream of my best parchment. My imported red ink now stains my desk. And to what end? Just so they can cause mayhem and foolishness whenever the mood strikes them?” Hermione watched Severus as he continued his tirade, his face becoming a deeper shade of red with each breath he took.

Genuinely concerned for his increasing blood pressure, she reassured him by saying “Calm down Severus. You're going to burst a vessel. I can't imagine why they would do such a thi...”Hermione trailed off as she heard a soft squawking from the corner of the room. “Oh” Hermione sighed as she took in the scene before her.

They both stood there speechless, not knowing what to say, not wanting to leave the room for fear of disturbing their animals who seemed to be nuzzling one another.

“I think we should now address James as Jamison” Hermione said softly. “I suspect in about a month, we'll have a gaggle of little ducklings to look after.”

Severus smirked as he realized how Jones and James...er...Jamison utilized his parchment. It being so high quality, it had a softer texture and thus made a more comfortable nest. “And to think, I thought they were related.”

To be honest, I have no idea why this came out the way it did. It was the first thing that came to my head as a way of explaining why they destroyed his office. This was just a one-off, not a literal interpretation of the Jones and James relationship. Thanks again anonymous_plume for the great silhouette!